“Authentic communication is much more than just talking. It is understanding and being understood.” ~ Dennis Rainey
Your ability to communicate well with others can either enhance or impair your relationships.
Learning how to communicate effectively with others is a skill that can be learned. Many of us don’t even realize our communication errors because we are unaware of them.
It is important to take an honest look at how you might need to change the way you interact with others.
Here are five examples of how people communicate poorly. I challenge you to see if you recognize yourself in any of them.
1. The Self Centered Talker
The self centered talker is someone that doesn’t ask others how they are doing, but instead is always relating the conversation to themselves.
Being a self-centered talker is un-loving and un-attractive.
When we continue to bring the conversation back to ourself, it can make others feel like what they have to say is unimportant. Effective communication is conversation that goes back and forth, not one sided.
Most people talk more and listen less. I have heard it said that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason- so we would talk less and listen more. In James 1:19 we are told, “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak…”
We can be better communicators by asking others questions about their life, how they are doing and by being good listeners.
2. The S-L-O-W Talker
Although it’s wise to think before you talk, it can be challenging for others when we take a long time to express what we have to say.
We can be a more effective communicator when we voice our thoughts swiftly. Learn how to get to your point by speaking in short and sweet sentences.
Ask God to “take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips” (Psalm 141:3).
3. The Bullet-Speed Talker
Someone that talks fast and non stop is, well…rude.
They are basically having a one way conversation, with themselves. The truth is, no one cares to be around a chatter box.
By practicing self-control you can learn to believe that you don’t have to say everything that’s on your mind. By refraining from talking too much you will be a better communicator.
The Bible warns us in Proverbs 10:19 that, “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”
4. The Interrupter
Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone that is constantly finishing your sentences and/or is constantly interrupting you? It’s not very enjoyable.
Scripture tells us in Proverbs 18:2 that “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.“ When you are interrupting someone else you are not really interested in what they are saying but are trying to add your own opinions.
I’ll confess, I tend to interrupt people when they are talking. I’m a lot better today, but I’ve had to train myself to be patient while others are talking. It’s rude and disrespectful to interrupt others while they are talking.
I’ve had to learn to hold my tongue and let the other person finish with their thought before I speak. This is a more effective way to communicate.
5. The Silent Type
This is the person that doesn’t say much. Although this may seem harmless, this type of communicator can make others feel uncomfortable because their silence shows lack of interaction.
Effective communication includes an exchange of thoughts and ideas between two people.
If this is you, I encourage you to push yourself to engage in conversation by giving feedback to the person you are interacting with.
All five of these communication errors can negatively impact the quality of your relationships. With practice you can learn to be an effective communicator.
The most important thing in learning how to communicate well is self awareness. Be conscientious of how you interact with others (Tweet this).
Being a good listener, being mindful of your body language and tone of voice are other keys to communicating well too.
You honor God when you are intentional about how you connect with others.
Leave me a comment below on any tips you may have on being an effective communicator?
“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive…” ~ Colossians 4:6
Photo Credit: Google Images
Thank you for continuing to share your gift of wisdom in the words your write. Truth be told, sure I’ve probably had all 5 types at one different times. Probably one I tend to struggle with is the silent type or slow talker. I find it challenging to speak when others are talking. When a pause comes up in conversation, I usually don’t speak up quick enough to get a word in. I tend to me more introverted so it may take me longer to process thoughts and then give a response to the conversation. Recently, I’ve started to embrace being the ‘listener’ and make an effort to be aware of the various characteristics you mentioned in the last few sentences of this post.
Elizabeth you are so kind. Thank you for always encouraging me. Also thank you for being so open and honest. I know someone like you, who is more quiet and takes time to process her thoughts. She too often doesn’t get to speak often in a conversation. I have encouraged her to let those she is close to her know that she is this way. This way others are more aware of her personality and make a more conscious effort to allow her to speak too. We all need to be more intentional in our communication skills. This means in listening and in talking. Hope this made sense. Blessings to you dear~ 🙂
Simple and to the point and incredibly useful! Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks Nikki. I appreciate your feedback! 🙂
Tweeny, thanks for this post. I read it before and read it today again and it is so helpful. Thanks for reminding me that I need to ask God to take control of what I say. Psalm 141:3 is now one I will refer to oten. Blessings to you. susana
Susana,
I’m so happy that my post could be an encouragement to you. We all need to be reminded to ask God to take control of our words and how we communicate with others. Thanks for leaving me a comment. You’re always a blessing to me. 🙂
I’m behind in reading your excellent posts. Sorry I’m so late in responding, but I had to let you know how much I appreciated this blog about communication. I am working on not interrupting. Sometimes I’m excited about what someone is saying, and I chime in before they have finished. I’m praying that God will help me. This is a good reminder. THANKS!
Hi Arlene,
So good to hear from you! Thanks for your feedback. I always love hearing from you! I’m the same way- have to work on not interrupting. Like you, I get so excited about what someone is saying and so chime in before they are finished. Ha ha. I feel better knowing I’m not alone. 🙂