Encouraging Beyond Words

Although being an encourager is a spiritual gift from God, God wants all of us to be encouragers- to minister comfort and counsel to others (Acts 14:22, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:25).

Encouragement can change someone’s day and/or possibly their life. It brings healing.

Encouragement gives the message “you are important” or “you matter.” It brings love.

Encouragement says “you can do this.” It brings hope.

Although it’s the most common way, encouragement does not always have to be with your spoken words. You can lift up people in other ways too.

Here are some examples of how you can encourage beyond words:

1. Eye contact

When someone is talking to you, giving them eye contact is very endearing. It shows the other person that you are really interested in what they are saying.

Giving someone eye contact while they are sharing forces your quality of listening to be more intense.

2. Body language

Along with eye contact, be aware of your body language when you are conversing with someone. Turn towards them, unfold your arms, look relaxed and enthusiastic.

When I’m talking to my husband, I love it when he looks into my eyes and turns towards me and really pays attention to what I’m saying.  This type of interaction with him, or anyone, makes me feel special.

3. Tone of voice

The tone of voice you speak in can make a big difference in how supportive you come across. If your tone of voice is harsh, irritable, or rushed, it will not sound very compassionate. You will come across a lot more comforting if your tone of voice is gentle, kind and patient.

Proverbs 15:4 says “Gentle words are a tree of life…”

4.  Prayer

When someone is sharing their heart with you, a good habit is to say “can I pray for you right now?” and then do it, pray with them.

Too often we hear “I’ll be praying for you.”  That’s very kind, but really praying with your friend immediately is a lot more encouraging.

Years ago I was talking with someone who was sharing a burden with me. We ended our conversation and I told her I would pray for her.  A week later I ran into her again and she said  to me, enthusiastically, “thank you SO much for praying for me. I feel a lot better.”

I was so convicted…I had forgotten to pray for her.  To make things worse, I had to be honest and tell my friend the truth-that I had not prayed for her.

That day was a turning point for me. In that moment, I decided that I would get in the habit of praying with people right on the spot. I have kept my word too.  And If I can’t pray right then with them, I pray immediately on my own.

Commit to praying for the person and ask God to encourage them.

The truth is that no one can encourage us better than the Lord Himself.

5. Follow up

If someone has a hardship and you are aware of it, encourage that person with a follow up phone call, email, Facebook message, and/or text message. We live in  highly technological days. There are so many ways to connect with others.

When you reach out to someone like this, it makes them realize that you really do care for them and what they are going through.

6. A hug

The simple act of hugging someone warmly can go a long way.

Last week I saw someone that I had not seen in a few months because she had been tending to a sick family member and had not come to church during that time. I don’t know this lady very well, but I felt I wanted to encourage her since she had been through a difficult season.

I didn’t know what to say or do, so all I did was give her a long tight hug, bringing us both to tears.

This was all she needed to feel comforted.

Whether it’s your gifting or not, learn to be an encourager (2 Corinthians 13:11).

Use your words and your actions to motivate, encourage and console others.

And be intentional about it.

I start my day listing 2-5 people that I plan on encouraging that day. I may not get to all five people on my list, but it’s still a good daily goal.

One final but important note- make sure whatever you do that it is genuine and from your heart. People can pick up on insincerity.

Leave me a comment below on which of these points spoke to you the most.

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Photo Credit: Getty Images